I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
