And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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