I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
