ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
