Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
