some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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