I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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