Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
