I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
