do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize