Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
