I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
