It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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