I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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