The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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