hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
