I have demons in me.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
