Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You made out with two different species that night
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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