Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize