I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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