omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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