the new term for farting is butt boxing.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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