Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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