I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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