She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
