Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just invented taco cereal.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
