Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
