you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
