Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Oh god it's open bar.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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