If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
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