Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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