windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
