i wish semen tasted like chocolate
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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