I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
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