Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
