physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
