Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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