just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
