I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
