we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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