I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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