She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
