pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
