So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
