he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
