I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
