She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's blow job season.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
