Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
This is the high leading the old right now
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
