i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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