honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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