so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
