I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
