this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
