I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
