he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
