She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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