every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
