u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
