OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
