Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
