Your mouth is God's brothel.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We are two peas in an std pod
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
