I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
