Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
