I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize