he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
