doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
