At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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