I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
