oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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