He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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