The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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