you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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