Moan for me like Helen Keller
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The struggles of a small town man whore
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
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