you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
